Special Package
by Kage no Akuma-Shadow Demon
Summary: Kiyoshi and Masuyomi were 'normal' people in America, just trying to pay the bills each month. Until a few large boxes turned their worlds upside down... "Alfred F. Jones Unit?"  Inspired by LolliDictator/es.1995's Hetalia Manuals.
1. America

_**Special Package**_

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><p><em><strong>Warning: A lot of stuff that I'm not going to name.<strong>_

_**Disclaimer: Masuyomi-chan and I(Kage-no-Akuma) do not own Hetalia.**_

_**Insperation: LolliDictator's manual's along with some other manual's she has not written. Read them there in my favorites~!**_

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><p>Oc's used:<p>

Kiyoshi(main oc and told in his P.O.V): Pale skin tone, Jet-black hair styled like Ciel in Kuroshitsuji. He has bandages over his left eye, he had an eye transplant a few years ago but he hides it because of it's odd color, and his right eye is "violet ultramarine" (it's a type of bluish-purple, more blue than purple really). He's also 'petite' and feminine for a boy so most confuse him with girl. He's also bipolar and a little paranoid, not so much that it shows but enough that he usually has his guard up. He very shy and shies away from physical contact with strangers except some people that he finds trustworthy.

Masuyomi: Has tan skin, very spiky, long, black hair and honey brown eyes. Very protective of Kiyoshi. A bit perverted, and because of this, will sometimes randomly attack Kiyoshi sexually. Kiyoshi lives with her. Much taller than Kiyoshi; she is about 5'9". Very outgoing and curses reguarly. Doesn't trust or like many people instantly; she knew Kiyoshi since he was child. Feels as though her and Kiyoshi have it hard enough, and that's why she doesn't want to keep any of the units.

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><p>I blinked looking at the rectangular crate in front of me; it towered over my height. It was large and had boxes on top of it; it also came with an envelope holding something inside . I looked down at the envelope with a slightly raised eyebrow, soft confusion in my eyes. The man who had brought the crate had already left, he was flustered as well for some reason…<p>

There was also a winged, Flying Mint Bunny as the logo… it was cute…

However, my thoughts weren't held on that, they were more on the mysterious crate and the envelope. Did Masuyomi-chan order something?

"Masu-chan, did you order anything?" I called towards the stairs that led up to her room.

"Hahhh? Did I do what?" Of course she wouldn't hear me with me being so far away…

"Did you order anything?" I called louder as I, now, stood at the foot of the stairs. Looking back down at the envelope, I sat with a sigh and opened the envelope. I know that must have been rude but I wanted to know what the envelope held, curse my cat-like curiosity. Flipping it open I reached into it and took out what seemed to be a manual. I read the title my eyes taking in the words.

**ALFRED F. JONES: User Guide and Manual**

It was what the title said a user guide, even more curious I opened the book.

**CONGRATULATIONS!**

_You've just invested in an ALFRED F. JONES unit! In order to ensure that you, the owner, get the best of your unit while keeping all your extremities, we've taken the liberties of writing this manual, and strongly suggest that you read it before attempting to handle your unit._

"Unit." I mouthed silently to myself before looking at the large crate. It was still, unmoving. I gulped silently and was about to turn my attention to the manual when I heard the familiar sound of bare feet hitting the wood floor.

I looked at Masu: she was staring at the giant box.

"The hell is this thing? What'd you do, order a refrigerator?"

I sighed.

"No Masu, supposedly one of us ordered an… Alfred F. Jones unit… ever heard of Hetalia?" I asked as I looked up the stairs at her.

"Yeah, a lil' bit... It ain't real, though, right?"

She pulled a pocket knife out of her pajama pocket and started to cut open the box.

"Wait! I haven't read the manual; what if something goes…oh wait never mind it just says he'll get overly hyper." I continued reading while Masu continued cutting at the box.

The front of the box fell open, revealing...

A twenty year old, sleeping America. My eyes widened and I stood; the manual fell to the floor at my feet.

"It looks so life like…" I whispered in awe as I went to touch him.

His eyes snapped open from behind his glasses and a large dopey smile came to his face. "Whoa! Hey dudettes!"

I yelped in surprise and fell back onto my butt.

Masu gave me a blank stare. "How do we send this idiot back?"

"Ano…there may be something in the…manual." I said shyly as I stood from my spot on the ground and made my way towards the manual.

"Wait dudette, you're going to send me back? So not cool!" I stopped walking, did he just call me a girl?

I turned towards him.

"I'm a boy."

"No you're not, dudette! You're too feminine!" he seemed to yell, he was so loud.

I sigh and continued towards the manual before grabbing it.

"Where's the phone, Masu?"

"Goddamn, you dumb blonde! Why don't you yell one more time; I've always wanted to go deaf! And stop trying to sound like a parent trying to communicate with their child's friends; it makes you sound like a moron. Fucktard..."

America didn't seem to have heard Masu because all his attention was on whining about going back. I sigh and quickly find the phone, turns out it was on the living room table. I dialed the number while the America 'unit' continued whining.

"Hello, Flying Mint Bunny co, how may I help you?"

"Yes, hello um…is there any way if I can send the America 'unit' back?"

"I'm sorry but that can't be done, once he's out of the box, he is yours to keep… unless he's broken or in the undesired mode."

"Undesired mode?"

"It's when he's the War for Independence!ALFRED F. JONES, most don't enjoy him in that mode, go figure?" was she trying to talk like a teen? That thought both sickened and irritated me.

"Oh well, thank you for your time."

"Don't mention it hon!" … Hon?

"Oh! I almost forgot how do you… reprogram them?"

"Oh it's easy, simply say reprogram, the model will shutdown and ask you what you want to reprogram him too."

"That is easy, thank you for your time."

"Your welcome, Kiyoshi." my eyes widened and I felt a shutter run up my spine.

"Um… h-how did you know my name?"

"Oh sorry we simply have records of every person to purchase and or order a Hetalia unit."

"I don't remember ordering a Hetalia unit though…"

"It was in a pop-up." of course, "I'm sure you answered a survey, usually we pick unique surveys and lets just say yours rose some eyebrows."

"Oh…"

"Oh indeed, also you will get another one in about a three to five business days…goodbye Kiyoshi!"

"Wait what are you talking about!" the phones beep was all I got in reply.

Pouting I hung up the phone as well.

"Bad news, we can't return the America Unit, even worse news were going to get another one on three to five business days." I said while walking back towards the other two.

"That's that bullshit, right there."

I sigh and continued towards the manual before grabbing it.

"Can't we just... break him? Somehow? I CAN'T FEED ANOTHER PERSON! No sendation without representation!"

"Sendation?" I asked.

"Sending shit to my house."

I sigh.

"We can just use the money that my _father_ left me." I hissed the word father as though it were something foul; you can't blame me though… I've had a really bad childhood.

"No way dudettes! I'll be the hero and… uh… work?" He didn't seem to like that idea.

"Yeah. You can work at Burger King with me, uh..." Masu took the manual from my hands and looked at it. "... Alfred. I'ma call you Al."

"Um.." I look at the manual in Masu's hands and flipped a few of the pages, I paused at **Technical Specifications **and speed read it before pausing at length. Didn't really understand what it meant so I continued until I ended up at programming.

"He can also work as a salesman, policeman, bodyguard, and government official…that's nice but I agree we may want to keep him on the down low." I said with a shrug, I looked at them through my eyelashes.

"Should I get a job too Masu? I feel guilty for making you work and pay the bills for the both of us..." I murmured in embarrassment.

"Uh..." Masu's face turned red. "It's fine, kiddo. Don't worry about it." She rustled my hair.

I smiled up at her as heat came to my cheeks. My hair was possibly sticking out in different directions now but it didn't matter much.

"Well if you want I can make breakfast, what do you guys wanna eat…" I left off and remembered the box on top of America's crate.

"Your stuff is up there; do you think you can manage?" I asked America… Al.

"Of course I can!" he said with a thumbs up before he began to reach for the box.

I shrugged and made my way to the kitchen.

"What are your orders?" I called back at them.

"Gimme a huge-ass stack of pancakes, with ten pounds of maple syrup!" Masu voice called.

"Is all that really healthy?" I asked in worry.

"Not really, but I'll need it. I'll be working all day, with my boss up my ass, like everything I do is wrong, just because I'm not hyper as shit all day. Like I could be happy when I'm stuck for 10 hours with a total asshole, idiotic co-workers, and customers who can't make up their minds on what the fuck they want."

"Well… that's… should I make you lunch as well? Or are you going to eat at work?" I asked not really knowing what to say about _that_.

"Duh. I'll eat here."

"Okay. What do you want Alfred?" I asked as I took out the ingredients for pancakes.

"Same!" he called.

I sighed softly before washing my hands and getting to work on the pancakes.

"Hey, Kiyo..." Masu said. Her voice seemed to be full of confusion.

"Yes?"

"It says here that Al comes with a... Tony?"

"Oh! Tony is an alien." I said as I began to pour pancake batter into one of our largest pans.

"He's not an alien…he's my friend!" called Alfred.

I blinked before shrugging.

"Hey Alfred, you can activate him if you want." I called towards him.

"Awesome dudette!" I sighed.

"I'm a boy!"

"And I'm still not believing that!"

"Ok believe whatever you want." I pouted.

"Yo Tony! Were going to be living here now!"

"… Cool."

Alfred brought the white alien into the kitchen and sat down next to Masu, at the kitchen table.

"Ew!" Masu fell out of her chair, pointing at Alfred and Tony. "Get that ugly-ass thing out of my house! We leave animals at the door!"

"Bitch." The alien said. I'll pray at his funeral...

Masu stood up, and her face turned serious. She grabbed Tony out of Alfred's hands by his leg, holding him upside down and face-to-face. "Listen here, you ass-for-face, shit-for-brains sonofabitch. You're in _my_ house, you will _not_ speak to me like that. I will boot your ass out. I will turn you in to the nearest alien freak club, and let you get raped by sharp, pointy objects of _all kinds_, if I have to. So either you stay here and shut the hell up, or you can learn just _how big_ the rats in this neighborhood get."

Nooo! Don't hurt Tony! Tony shut up!" cried America as he grabbed onto Tony.

"Masu, Alfred, here's your pancakes." I said as I placed two large plates with pancakes bathed in maple syrup on the table.

"Awesome! Thanks dudette!" America and Tony immediately start to scarf down the pancakes. Masu still looks pissed though…

"I understand you do not enjoy disrespect Masu, but I think the only way America would behave is if he has Tony around, so please try to get along," I said as I placed a kettle on one of the burners. While waiting for the water to boil, I pulled out three cups.

"Do you want any milk?" I asked receiving a nod from a happy Alfred and expressionless Tony.

I turned back around to pour their milk and when I finished, I turned around again, and Masu's whole stack of pancakes was gone.

She burped. "Excuse me," she said, placing one hand over her mouth and rubbing her stomach with the other one.

America and Tony paused.

"Daaammmnnn," Tony said before continuing to eat. I placed the cups on the table and they immediately grabbed them and chugged before slamming the cups on the table.

I was about to say something when my kettle hissed. I grabbed another cup, turned off the burner and poured myself some water. Opening one of the pantries I grabbed the little package holding green tea. Placing it in my cup I grabbed a spoon and placed some sugar inside before stirring.

"Thanks dudette." said America as he leaned back in his chair and patted his stomach, Tony nodded.

Masu slammed her hand down on the table, making me sigh as I already begin making more pancake batter and America and Tony jump in surprise at the sudden noise.

"Hit me again, baby. Five more pancakes, double the syrup," she said seriously.

"Your going to kill yourself one of these day, Masu." I said, already making the pancakes.

This was a usual thing; I don't understand how she doesn't have diabetes but maybe she just has a way to withstand all the sugar in her system.

"What are you trying to do, Masu?" I asked her in worry.

"Call in sick," she answered curtly.

"You sure you can miss work today?" I asked as I placed the freshly made pancakes swimming in maple syrup on the table along with another cup of milk.

"I can if I'm throwing up," she said, wolfing down one of the extra-fluffy pancakes in, I kid you not, ten seconds flat.

"And if I eat lots of food," she said with her mouth full, swallowing a thick lump of pancake as she point her syrup-covered fork at me, "then I'll most likely blow chunks."

I gagged at seeing the chewed up food in her mouth.

"Masu don't do that. You'll make me blow chunks." I said as I covered my mouth lightly, watery bile making its way up my throat, I did something disgusting. I swallowed it.

Masu upper lip curled in a grimace. "I saw that. You nasty."

My eyes narrowed playfully into a glare as I pouted. "It was your fault though. You made me and you know what happened to me when I threw up."

I looked away as I finished before grabbing onto my cup of tea, I took a sip and sighed, it was cold.

"Why don't you relax now, Kiyo?" Masu said, poking my arm.

She then doubled over and put her arms over her stomach. "Uhp. Here come the pancakes." She made a motion at me with her hand. "Gimme the phone. C'mon, give me the phone. I need to call my boss so he can have _proof_."

"Oh Kami-sama that's _nasty_." I muttered but hurriedly ran to get the phone. Alfred and Tony looked like they were going to be sick as well, poor things.

She grabbed the phone, quickly dialed something, and ran to the bathroom. There was some mumbling as she spoke to her boss. Then she dry heaved a couple of times, and the stuff _really_ started going.

She coughed, and I could hear her yell, "I'm sick, I told you!"

The things that woman would do to skip work...

"That's so not cool…" I looked to my right to see a green cheeked Alfred.

"Did you vomit?" I asked. He shook his head a small sickish smile on his face.

"I have a stomach of steel!" he said slowly.

I giggled behind my hand before shaking my head.

"Sure you do, come on I'll make some tea it'll calm your stomach… I'll bring some for Masu as well." I grabbed his hand and pulled him back towards the kitchen.

As I began to work on the tea Masu stumbled into the kitchen, hugging the phone like a lifeline.

"Coffee, or dead," she slurred, wiping her chin with the back of her hand.

I nodded and immediately made her super strong black cup of coffee.

"So" I said as I finished the tea cups and coffee.

"What are we going to do about the units?"

"We're going to get rid of them, obviously. I sure as hell ain't got enough money for a _robot_ that eats nothing but junk food."

"Eh? B-but! He has an unlimited McDonalds gift card! So he has food. We can have the other units work too!" Masuyomi was looking at me with a raised eyebrow, possibly wondering why I was reacting this way.

I shuffled my weight as I placed the coffee and tea cups on the table.

"Don't tell me you _like_ this moron? He's a disgrace to our country. And the worse part is that he's _named_ after it!"

"I know that! B-but…ano…w-what if…" I left off not really knowing what to say, what has gotten into me? Why was I being so selfish? Was it because I would feel guilty? What would they do to him if they get him back? Would they destroy him?

"Dudettes please don't take me back! That's so not cool!" Alfred pouted. I groaned softly and began to make myself more tea, I'm going to need it. There may be an argument between Masu and Alfred over the staying and going options.

Masu sighed and rubbed her temple before taking a large gulp of her coffee. "Give me one good reason why we should keep him, Kiyo."

A good reason? Kami that's gonna be hard… I grabbed the manual and looked threw it before sighing and placing it in front of Masu.

"Here's a reason." I said dully.

She looked down at the manual and where I was pointing.

_Bodyguard: Running from the mob? Afraid of the sharks? Well, fear no more, because ALFRED F. JONES is here! He's not called a hero for nothing, after all! Just sic him on the offenders sit back as he takes them out with efficiency rivaling LOVINO VARGAS and IVAN BRAGINSKI. We, the creators of this manual, are not responsible for any damage done to any property, whether owned or not by the owner of this unit._

"He could be our body guard, y'know since trouble seems to follow me everywhere." I mutter as my bangs hid my eyes from view.

"What? _I'm_ your bodyguard!"

"B-But Masu-chan... you're a girl."

And I don't want anything to happen to you…

"I'm a _girl_? What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean? Y-You know what, fine, we'll keep the damn thing. But if he makes a mess in the house, _you're_ cleaning it up!"

Jeez, Masu, he's a person, not a dog.

"And his freaky little alien friend, too!"

"Ok…"

"Yes! Awesome Dudette's!"

"I'm a _boy_."

"And I'm not believing that!"


	2. Day 1 with America

Kage-chan: I know, Finally! Right? Sorry for taking so long however my partner/sempai/Onee-chan in writing this story, Masuyomi hasn't been on for more than fourteen weeks. Her cousin told me that her internet is down and will be up soon, but I decided that the least I could do was just make a chapter of Kiyoshi's and Masu's life with Alfred for the two days he was here before Korea showed up. ^^ Also she came back on but she hasn't been on for some time again...

Also I do not own Hetalia - Axis Powers. How? Well…I cant draw. ^^U

So enjoy :P

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><p>Day 1<p>

Well I wasn't sure what to do now, Masu was still a little angry about the whole Alfred as a body guard thing and about Tony staying. She was on the couch arms crossed over her chest as she stared at the T.V screen.

"Masu." I sighed, "The T.V isn't on."

"Shh!" she shushed me quickly, "This is my favorite part."

I stared at the black screen of the T.V before looking back at Masu whom seemed to be giving it all her attention. Slowly I backed away wondering to myself if she was really still sane. Instantly America-Alfred I scold myself-is by my side arm over my shoulder as he gave his "Heroic" laugh.

"Dudette I'm like really hungry! Can we go to McDonalds? Please? Please? Please? Plea-"

"Shut the FUCK UP!" yelled Masu from her spot on the couch, she glared at America-especially his arm that was still around my shoulders.

"What's your prob?" America questioned with another laugh completely ignoring(or not noticing) Masu's glare.

I twitched at having him touch me though other than that I gave no other sign of discomfort, though I was freaking out in the inside. Masu's glare increased and she started to grumble about 'stupid-perverted-junk-food-consuming-fatass-American's'.

"Fine, lets go." she huffed throwing on a coat, it was severally crooked and hang from her right arm and off her shoulder, as she gripped her keys tightly in her hand making her knuckles pale. She grabbed onto my arm pulling me away from a now pouting America as she dragged me from our house. She dragged me to the drivers side of the car and allowed me to climb into the back seat, behind the driver's seat, America energetically hopped into the passenger seat, grinning wildly.

I took the time to look around our neighborhood, it was…plain and boring. I felt my face heat in embarrassment since our house was the only one with flowers and tree's and well…it actually had color…

It seemed so alien compared to the others.

"Can we get fifty burgers?"

"Ho-ly _fuck_, where do you _keep_ it all?"

"I'm the HERO! Of course I can eat all of that!"

"…"

"Can we also get twenty-five diet cokes? I have to balance it all out y'know."

"…You are one of the biggest jackass I have ever met…"

America just laughed as though Masu told a really funny joke. I stayed quiet and stared out the car window and looked at the dreary town, I can't believe I hadn't noticed it sooner.

Soon we arrived to the McDonalds drive threw. Masuyomi sighed as she ordered Alfred's meal, she ordered something for herself and me as well. The woman taking our order threw the intercom was surprised and constantly asking over and over if she got it right. Over twenty bags and drinks covering every inch of the back seats later we began our journey home whist America stuffed his face with hamburgers and spoke through his chewing only allowing us to understand up to three words in every sentence he spoke before he began to slurp his drinks down.

I found myself severally disgusted as I gagged slightly when some of America's chewed up food splattered on the cars glove compartment. Masu herself was pissed and before I knew it she took a sharp turn before quickly parking on a sidewalk besides a dreary park. She turned to America and was about to yell at America when she noticed my squeamish face.

"Hey Kiyo, you ok?" she questioned as I pressed my hands to my stomach.

"I…I'm… fine." I muttered, a half drunk diet coke was held in front of my face and I looked up at America whom continued to hold out the drink.

"Come on, dudette. Drink up." my nose scrunched up but I took the drink not wanting to be rude. I took a quick sip(1) and recoiled.

Ugh.

Diet coke.

Masu's eyes narrowed further and she gave a disgusted look to America and took the drink from me before he could get it back. She drank the rest much to my surprise. America shrugged and grabbed another one and began slurping again as Masu started the car back up and drove quietly the rest of the way home.

Late Evening

Having eaten everything, America was immensely satisfied. He patted his stomach as he sat back on the couch, Masu was up in her room, possibly listening to music or something. I sat on the couch a square away from America as we watched some kind of old cowboy movie. America was giving the T.V all of his undivided attention, I, on the other hand, grew bored and ended up falling asleep.

…

"Get the HELL away from him!" I jolted awake and saw that I was in America's lap with my head resting against his chest and his coat across my front. I immediately turned red and squeaked as I fell off the couch.

"Ow."

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><p>Also Review do iiiitttt~ do it for Romano: ల(ಠ- ಠ) I'm just kidding Review if you think the story deserves one. ^^<p>

This is day one so I need to finish day two and I'm sorry for taking so long.

(1) Indirect Kiss.


	3. Day 2 with America

Day 2 with America

I awoke early the next morning after Masu dragged me away from America all the while calling him a perverted son of a -

I'm sure you get the picture.

Tony had been standing in the kitchen doorway slurping down a diet coke that America had somehow missed. She dragged me into her room and locked the door and continued to huff and puff before saying that we would share the bed. I had nodded still feeling tired as she handed me some shorts and a large, to me, T-shirt.

Now back to today, I'm currently making breakfast, it being pancakes with real maple syrup. I didn't like the artificial kind with it's buttery taste. Finishing some time later I placed three freshly made plates filled with pancakes onto the table.

Cleaning up, I yawned as an obviously tired America entered followed by Tony whom was playing on a game station. Smiling I said good morning which received only a groan in reply as America and Tony began to stuff there faces. Masu came down some time later, hair wet and in a towel as she sat in front of her own plate of pancakes and began to eat as well. I took the seat besides her and since I wasn't feeling hungry I simply sipped at some tea, I had made it a moment earlier. Masu looked at me and frowned.

"Kiyo, you gotta eat something." before I could kindly reject the offer a syrup slick fork with two little neatly cut squares of pancake was pressed against my lips. I sighed before reluctantly opening my mouth so she could slide the food into my mouth. I chewed before swallowing, Alfred looked like he was inhaling his pancakes. The cycle continued, I would take a sip of tea before Masu held the pancake pieces to my face. She stopped when half of her pancakes were gone seeming to deem that enough.

After breakfast Masu had to leave for work, she cursed and mumbled things under her breath the whole time she got ready.

Just as she was about to go out the door she signaled for me to come closer, which I did.

"If he tries anything there's a tazer under the couch and mace in the kitchen pantry." I stared at her for a moment and she simply patted my head before leaving.

Later

Masu still hasn't gotten used to the America 'unit', or at least that's what I think since she continuously grumbles about that 'stupid freeloading American who couldn't get his fatass off the couch to even clean up his plates'. Add to the fact that she grumbles that when she's glaring at America on the couch while hugging me close and petting my head like some pet. However I hardly minded and allowed her to vent.

We have yet to get another unit so I suppose that's a blessing, I didn't need Masu to scream and yell at another unit like she did Alfred last night.

"Hey, Kiyo! I'm hun-gryyyyyyyy!" Alfred calls, whining as he laid across the armrest. I raised a brow seeing as the American had just finished eating all of our junk food - much to Masu's disbelief.

"I'm Masu. Nice to know," said Masu grumpily, instantly pulling me closer to her.

I sigh, patting Masu's hand as I look up at her. "You'll get used to him." I say, trying to remain chipper despite hearing Alfred's continuous whininess about needing to be fed least he die of starvation.

"Foooooooooooood!" whined Al.

Finally, Masu snapped. "For the love of fucking upside-down, I will feed you my THREE-FOOT DICK if you do not SHUT THE FUCK_ UP_."

Al stared at Masu, as did I.

Masu raised her brows. "I'm serious. I'll toss you in Vietnam and make you fucking make shoes for a handful of rice. Does that sound fun to you?"

Alfred immediately shut up and I sigh.

"I can go make lunch if you want?" I say hesitantly, looking up at Masu.

I, perhaps, was giving into Al's cries for something to eat but I hoped Masu didn't notice, besides, she hasn't eaten since returning from work.

"I do not care, so long as that little money-consuming shit and his little bug-eyed douche-canoe friend shut their Godforsaken mouths," says Masu sliding onto the floor and rolling under the couch.

I watch her with a sigh and go to the kitchen to make a quick lunch.

"Are sandwiches okay?" I call.

"Yes! Double-stacked bacon cheese and egg sandwich with honey is perfect!" called Al.

I heard a small agreement from Tony and nothing from Masu, except the slam and locking of what seemed like the bathroom door.

I cast a glance from my spot in the kitchen to the direction in which Masu had disappeared into, though I set my attention back to the matter at hand when Al began to whine once more.

Oddly enough I felt like a housewife, I set to making the sandwiches, cooking the bacon for a while first as I got the cheese, eggs, butter, bread, and honey out. I spread the butter over the bread thinly before grabbing the cheese. Checking on the bacon I supposed it would take another minute or so, making sure everything was right and dandy I got a bowl for the eggs before pausing. "Scrambled or unscrambled and do you want them gooey inside?" I call, recalling the one time I had babysat a neighbor girl since her mother needed to do something of urgent business and she had requested a 'non-popped bubble' egg, which after some explanation I had finally caught onto.

"Sunny side up!" called Al, who was being a backseat gamer to Tony.

After turning off the now nicely fried bacon and placing them in a napkin covered plate I do as he requested, supposing that Tony would want it the same way. Humming quietly to myself I turn off the eggs when they're done and dab at the bacon to get any residue of oil, after being satisfied that most of the oil was gone.

After getting the eggs out as well I finished up the sandwich with the honey both Al and Tony wanted before getting a tray and placing both plates on it and grabbing hold of two cup to pour milk into.

Now with both meals done I take the tray and place it before Al and Tony. "Lunch is done." I say. "And we don't really have anything other than milk." I give Al a pointed look since he drank whatever else that wasn't milk and water. "So you'll have to have it."

I heard Masu slam open the bathroom door, and saw steam from the shower pour out of the doorway. She stomped further down the hallway to our bedroom and slammed the bedroom door shut.

Frowning thoughtfully I made my way towards out room and knocked on the door lightly. "Masu? I don't mean to be pushy but is something the matter that you want to talk about?" I question through the door. "If not you can tell me to leave you alone." I added quickly.

"Yes. I'm contemplating the jail punishment for some crimes and wondering if it's worth it." I heard light tapping on the other end of the door, along with the shuffling of feet. "I've come to the decision that there are more pros than cons."

"Oh?" I say quietly, leaning against the door. "Would you tell me those pros and cons?" I ask, understanding that Masu was in one of her 'moods' which weren't much of a problem too me since I had my own moods. Really with all this Alfred business it's a wonder I haven't had a panic or anxiety attack but it must be the fact that he was a robot and not really absolutely human.

"I want. _To fucking. _KILL HIM." I heard shaky, labored, uneven breathing from the other end of the door.

I heard a slam from inside the door, and knew that Masu was probably hiding in the most cramped, dark, warm place she could find - the closet.

Hesitating I open the door - seems she didn't lock it - and enter quietly before shutting the door behind me. I could already hear Alfred and Tony playing whatever game they were amusing themselves with.

Going over to her closet I sit in front of the wall besides her closet door.

"I know it must be hard, having him here." I say quietly. "But he isn't all that bad…I haven't even felt remotely fearful of him. Which in itself is something strange. However it must be stressful to have him here eating everything he can get his hands on. So…how about we get him get a job? He'll be out of the house for a while and he'll be helping with the bills, you know? I could get a job too, that nearby bookstore/café needs help I noticed when we drove by it yesterday. So that could be a good place and you know who won't suspect I'm there I'm sure so it could be safe for me and I don't know, we could work on this."

I stop my rambling as I silently drum my fingers on the floor nervously. "But if not then perhaps we can come to something different to do."

"This is all too much. I skipped one too many days of work, I bought one too many useless things, and we're pretty much broke - fifty shades of fucked up." Masu's breathing was rougher, harder. "Kiyo, I can't feel my heartbeat. I..." she panted heavily. "I need my medicine. Like now."

I hurriedly got up, going over to her bedside dresser, going through the top shelve before finally finding the little box with her medicine within. I hurriedly go back over to her and open the door to her closet.

"I got it Masu," I say, kneeling before holding it out for her to take.

"And we aren't entirely broke." I remind her. "I still have that money in the bank my father left me." I say, biting my bottom lip seeing as how I never touched that bank account and practically turned my back on it. "I'm sure the amount grew since the last time I checked on it." I whisper, which was stupid to say since I haven't checked on it since getting it.

Masu was practically having a seizure. She shakily poured out half of one bottle of pill, spilling the contents all over the floor. She snatched up two and tossed them in her mouth, dry-swallowing them and immediately looking calmer. She lifted a crazily shaking hand to swipe a lock of jet black hair behind her ear. "Fuck that shit," she snorted. "I'll make a fuckload of money this week. You watch. I'm gonna be flipping burgers like it's going out of style."

Masu looked down at her curled-up, shaky, thin form. "At least this time I didn't have a seizure and piss myself," she joked half-heartedly.

I chuckled dryly, the laugh obviously forced. "At least I didn't panic and pull at my hair." I say quietly as I started picking up the spilt pills. "And Al should get a job, seeing as we'll have another mouth too feed and he does eat a lot. He already drank every juice and soda we had along with all our chips and all our sweets." I mumble, giving her the pills I had picked up. "Then I should get a job, so we can put some money away in case we need it, maybe look at the amount I have in the bank. It could help." I whisper. "And despite the house being large we may have to make preparations for more visitors, who knows, we might get more units."

"I don't want any more units," Masu whines, slumping onto the floor. "If Al is any indication, I won't like the rest of them."

Masu thought for a moment.

"He makes me want to shoot myself in the face."

"Don't worry, Alfred's the only one that acts like that, most of the other's are more mellow." I say, resting back against the wall in her closet. "Really, Al is a stereotypical American. So you don't have to worry."

"_That's_ how we look to other countries?" Masu asked incredulously, sitting India-style. "No wonder everyone hates us. Jesus Christ."

I couldn't help laughing.

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><p>Kage: Finally after so long! Sorry you guys but thanks for being patient!~ :3<br>And My Sempai/partner in writing this Masu-chan is back :D So I'm happy about that. We're working on the next chapter already so it shouldn't be so long~ :3  
>Also, do you guys mind if we do a <em><span><strong>Rejected<strong>_ version of this? Like with the units they have their "Unpopular versions" like Revolutionary Alfred, Broken!Gilbert, Little Russia, Chibitalia, Etc. :P It won't be involved with the normal story it would sort of be a side story type thing that isn't involved~


	4. South Korea

_**Special Package**_

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><p><em><strong>Warning: A lot of stuff that I'm not going to name. But to name one (for this chapter) Perverted Korea...<strong>_

_**Disclaimer: Masuyomi-chan and I(Kage-no-Akuma) do not own Hetalia.**_

_**Insperation: LolliDictator's manual's along with some other manual's she has not written. Read them there in my favorites~!**_

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><p>It was now the third day since we received Alfred, he gets on Masu's nerves a lot since he always wants to go to McDonalds and when he would do super hero poses randomly. As it would seem he's perfectly capable of cleaning after himself and he has a great like for bubble baths. He tried to get me to take a bath with him once… I rejected his offer, or well Masu threatened him with taking away his gift card until he left me alone.<p>

He still thinks I'm a girl… so why would he invite me for a bath…?

Alfred also enjoys watching Asian scary movies and playing video games. He came to my room last night with a teddy bear and a pillow; he looked like he was going to burst into tears as he asked if he can sleep with me tonight. I read the manual and it said this would happen, so I sighed and said that he could if he stopped watching his Asian horror movies at night. He instantly agreed as he snuggled into the bed besides me.

I had a hard time sleeping that night, I was extremely stiff. When I awoke Alfred's arms were around my waist tightly as he held me against him in his sleep. I struggled a little but I was finally able to escape after twenty minutes. However once I got off the bed I ended up tripping making my body slam onto the hard cold unforgiving floor, I groaned in pain and rolled onto my back. Alfred awoke instantly and looked down at me.

"You ok dudette? And by the way you have a very flat chest." America deadpanned.

"I'm a boy." I said as I stared up at him with a pout.

"I still don't believe you."

Of course. I push myself to a stand and walk towards my closet.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"I'm going to take a shower, would you like for me to prepare a meal before I do so?"

"Nah, I'm going to catch a few more Z's" he said before turning over in my bed and falling back asleep. I blinked before shrugging to myself. I went into the bathroom to take a shower and about an hour later, after taking care of personal matters, I began going towards the kitchen to begin breakfast.

"I made breakfast, bitch!" Masu shouted as she stood over a pan of nice-looking eggs, with a plate of burnt toast and perfectly cooked bacon on the table.

I sweat dropped. _'She can make eggs and bacon... but she can't time how long to put toast in the toaster?'_

"Masu-chan..." I sighed.

"Oh don't worry about the toast!" She grinned. "It's fine; in fact, I'll eat it _all_! I'll make you guys some of that crappy, _un_burnt toast instead!" She chomped off a huge piece of toast as she said this.

When she thought I wasn't looking, she spit it out on the floor. "Fucking tastes like _shit..._" she mumbled.

I was about to say something when the door bell rang.

"I'll go get it." I said as I left Masu with the burnt toast, she'll probably throw it away again.

"Delivery!" A guy with a handlebar mustache said as I opened the door.

I stared.

"La en-tre-ga~" He said again, but in Spanish, as he twisted his mustache around his fingers.

Seriously, that thing must've been at least three feet long, and stuck straight out from his upper lip.

"Oh, you dig the mustache, no?" he asked, intrigued.

I shook my head and held my arms out for the delivery, but he ignored it.

"This valiant weaving of silky black hairs upon my gorgeous upper lip has been left unappreciated by many, but you! You, my dear son, understand me!"

I felt a little awkward now…

"Um…may I have my package please, sir?" I asked politely.

"Come, my boy! We must leave this heathen area for the higher part of society! To the handle bar mustache club we go!"

He smacked a fake handlebar mustache - about half an inch long on each side - onto my forehead.

Just then, Masu walked in, an incredulous look upon her tanned face. "What the fuck is this rac - oh, _hi there,_ Mr. Espachito. How are you?"

"Just fine, heathen disgrace to mustache society! I am about to take this fine young man to my club!"

"How's the wife?"

"Fine! Her coat is quite shiny, and she's about to sire fourteentoplets!"

"Um... I don't think fourteentoplets is a word, and if she's female, she wouldn't _sire_ anything. In fact, in correct terminology, _you're_ siring the children."

I was left very confused.

"Can you just give me the package and go, Mr. Espachito? We're very busy heathens today."

"Hmph... disgraces!" he said and he turned and left after pushing another box inside, one quite similar to the one Alfred was in.

"Hey, when'd you get that?" Masu asked, pointing at the mustache on my forehead. "I thought you didn't even have armpit hair yet..."

I blushed when Masu mentioned my lack of body hair…

"Um….Mr. Espachito…? Placed it on my forehead…?" I murmured as I removed the piece of facial hair from my head.

I looked at the box before looking at the floor where an innocent yellow book laid. Picking it up my eyes widened.

"Dear God, please tell me it's not another one." Masu said urgency in her voice.

"It's worse…" I murmured softly as I opened the book.

"What is it? WHAT?" Masu asked gripping my shoulders and shaking me wildly.

"It's Korea!" I exclaimed in hopes that she would release me. She did with a smirk on her face as she eyed the box. I paled, w-w-was she a…a Korea fan! (Fan girl would be an insult to her…)

"How do we get him out!" she immediately grabbed the book from my hands and looked threw it the smirk growing slightly. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at the box before shuttering. Slowly I walked over to Masu and read from the manual.

**Removal of your YONG-SOO IM from Packaging**

_This is actually a much harder task than you may think. If you wake your unit incorrectly, then you will never hear the end of it; if you move him before he is completely awake, then you might accidentally make him hate you. To avoid the aforementioned scenarios, we have provided a list of safe ways in which you can awaken your unit:_

_1. Stand next to the box, preferably prepared to block flying box lids, and say either, "Aru!" or, "Desu." Your YONG-SOO IM will manage to sidekick or palm the box lid off and get up, and you must immediately reprogram him lest he grope you in the belief that you are one of his brothers._

_2. Take either the CD recording of "Arirang", or one of the provided drama DVDs, and play them loudly. If using the CD, you will hear humming and sometimes singing from the box, and it is safe to remove the top; if you play the dramas, then you will hear irritated grunting caused by your unit's annoyance at missing the drama. You can then remove the top as well, though he will probably jump up and shock you before running to the television or computer where the drama is playing._

_3. Open a jar of the provided kimchi and set it on a plate. Use a fan or other such machine to waft the smell towards the box. You can also do this with a plate of boolnak jungol* or spiced jjol myun*. This route will make your YONG-SOO IM hungry and he will whine for food until you feed him._

_4. Mispronounce Korean. Say, "Annyeonghaseyo!" as terribly as you can manage. This will result in a lengthy Korean pronunciation lesson from your unit, who will jump up violently when he hears you speak._

_5. Open the box and poke your unit's curl. He will shudder and wake up, and he might be horny, so you probably want to watch out._

I noticed Masu's eyes were glued to number five and inwardly prayed that this will turn out well…

She tore open the box and poked Yong-Soo Im's curl as roughly as possible, her eyes alight with amusement.

Korea didn't budge.

"See? Nothing. This one's a fake, and that one in there is probably just some crazy, stupid cosplayer, who's in on a very dumb prank."

My eyes widened as Yong-Soo Im shuddered violently and awoke, his eyes glazed over thickly with lust.

I gaped like a fish before turning towards Masu.

"So you believe he's a cosplayer now?" I monotone.

"Yes, I do thi-"

She was cut off as Yong-Soo Im grabbed her breasts, and she moaned out loudly.

I gave a high pitched shriek (like an uke… I am ashamed to say) and turned away cheeks dark red in embarrassment.

"Ooh! They're big and _squishy_, Da~ze!" I could _hear_ the lust in Korea's voice.

Masu moaned again and I felt my face heat up more.

"C-could y-you get your hands off of her!" I exclaimed as I turned to look at him. His lust filled eyes took me in from top to bottom; his eyes stayed for a long time at my chest and crotch area, I had to clench my hands on my pants because they were shaking a lot.

"Why, Da~ze? Is she your girlfriend?" I sputtered in embarrassment and shook my head.

"No! She's my best friend slash sister!" I said before covering my red face with my hands.

He smirked and squeezed again drawing another sound out of Masu.

"You're cute, Da~ze."

I watched in embarrassed horror as Masu grabbed his hands and made his fingers and thumbs move around her breasts, while she panted in pleasure.

"Oh Kami-sama!" I cried covering my eyes, I began to back away but I ended up tripping and ended up on the floor. I groaned softly and raised myself on my elbows; head tipped to the side, making more of my bangs fall to the left side of my face, legs bent and spread lightly and my large shirt was crooked and sagged showing my shoulder.

Korea kept his work on Masu's chest but his eyes were on me, he was eyeing me hungrily as his tongue came out to lick his lips.

"_Very_ cute, Da~ze." he murmured giving an extra hard squeeze to Masu's chest, her pants grew harsher and I had hurriedly sat up and fixed my disheveled appearance.

What will I do? Masu might lose her virginity!

"What in the name of Ronald McDonald is going on here!" Alfred asked, blushing once he saw Masu and Korea.

Korea's mood changed from lustful to energetic in an instant.

"Hello America! Do you have any new games? By the way they originated in Korea~!" The mood was broken, thank kami. I pushed myself to a stand, not noticing that my shirt had slipped off my shoulder once more, and gave a sigh of relief.

I looked at Masu; a dark red blush was sprayed across the bridge of her nose, her eyebrows were pushed upwards, and her eyes were big and glassy, like she might cry.

She bit her bottom lip before looking at me and quickly walking to her room.

Masu wait!" I couldn't let her leave like this. I was there quickly with my arms wrapped respectfully around her waist as I nuzzled her back; I was very short compared to her (5'1).

"Please be ok Masu, it makes me sad when you look like that." I said softly.

"Don't be sad, Kiyo… It's just… I've never been touched like that before, and when he did, it felt _so good_. It's just… so much better when someone else does it for you. _Fuck_, you don't know how good it felt. You have no idea how hard I wanted to do him when he did it the last time. The sounds… they just slipped out. I hardly knew I was making noises like that."

She coughed.

"Could you, kinda… let go? I'm so freaking turned on right now that even _you're_ starting to make my… my…"

I immediately release my grip on her with a dark flush on my face.

"G-gomen Nasai." I said awkwardly and a little sadly… I shook my head, erasing the memories before they even started.

"Oh! What would you like for breakfast? Or are you not hungry." I asked immediately going into housekeeper mode. (Masu said that I acted like a housekeeper uke…)

"Awesome, Dudette! We want pancakes!" America yelled from his spot besides Korea, they were currently playing a game.

"Alright." I said to myself before looking at Masu in slight worry.

"Masu would you like anything?"

"Yes please. I would like a nice, mediocre cup of **_SILENCE_**!"

Yong-Soo Im and Alfred jumped, and I shrieked and dropped a tea cup on the floor, which shattered.

Total. Silence.

"Thank you." Masu said, leaning back in her chair and rubbing her temples. "Hey, Kiyo, I thought I cooked breakfast earlier today?"

"Ah! Your right, gomen I forgot." I said as I kneeled on the floor to pick up the cup. I threw it away but then I felt something trickle down my palm. Looking down at my hand I found out I had cut myself. I kept staring at the blood collecting in my palm; it was beginning to create a small puddle…

"Kiyo, what did you…" She stared at the small pond of crimson in my hand. "Shit."

She grabbed a large towel from under the sink and wrapped it around my hand. Its white cloth quickly turned red from my blood.

"Just… go sit in the living room or something, and I'll get the food for those pigs in there."

I blinked, coming out of my stupor, and walked into the living room before sitting on the couch. The white rag was still red but the puddle no longer grew, lightly removing the rag I noticed a long thin line starting from the top of my palm before ending just before the bottom. To tell you the truth, I have had worst injuries...

"Heads up!" Masu shouted as two fried eggs, three pieces of bacon, and a piece of toast, all tied together, hit Alfred in the back of the head.

"Catch your breakfast or no seconds!" she yelled.

Another breakfast 'package' came towards me; fortunately, I caught mine, albeit clumsily.

Unfortunately, for Yong-Soo Im, his breakfast hit him smack-dab in the face.

I gave a small giggle at that before covering my mouth, a blush forming on my face.

"Of course, _you_ would be the one to giggle, and _I_ would be the one to chuckle deeply before laughing out loud like a moron," I heard Masu mutter angrily from in the kitchen.

Incredibly hurt I whispering a small thank you, but other than that I said nothing. My palm no longer bled but there was a slightly numb feeling on the wound. Alfred and Yong soo Im were munching on there breakfast while playing the game, it seems they didn't hear anything.

Masu looked at me, and her eyes softened.

A few minutes later, a note landed in my lap.

I opened it.

In Masu's chicken-scratch handwriting were the words, _"You know I didn't mean it."_

I looked around to find her, but she was headed towards the bathroom...

... In her white lace bra and panties.

I choked on the nibble of food I had in my mouth while my face turned redder than a tomato. Alfred and Korea looked up at me first before looking at Masu; Alfred blushed while Korea checked out Masu a perverted look on his face.

"Daaaammmmnnn, she fine." Tony was somehow besides me and was checking Masu out as well.

What's worse... she had her earphones in.

How she managed that, I might never know.

But she must've been listening to LMFAO, because she started dancing and belting out the ending lyrics to "Sexy and I Know It."

"I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT! Ahh, girl look at that body, ahh, girl look at that body, ahh, girl look at that body, I-I-I-I work out! Ahh, girl look at that body, ahh, girl look at that body, ahh, girl look at that body, I-I-I-I work out!"

I was curled up on the floor, my eyes blank and dead.

"Why…Masu…Why?" I mumbled over an over again.

I'm assuming Shakira came on her iPod next, because she starting singing "Hips Don't Lie" and dancing.

It would've been okay if her dancing was absolutely horrible, but no.

It was ten times worse, because her hips and waist defied gravity in the sexy way that they moved.

Just. Like. Shakira.

Though I completely understand, sometimes I dance when listening to music…though my dancing is more…dirty...most of the time.

I looked at Alfred and Korea.

Alfred was looking down wide eyed and red in the face.

Korea was drooling a 'rape' face mixed with 'that ass' kinda face on his face…there's a lot of 'face' in that sentence.

Masu finished by pretending to sit in a chair, threw her hair back, and pulling an imaginary rope down and getting soaked by imaginary water from an imaginary bucket connected to the imaginary rope.

I would know all this imaginary stuff happened, because I've done that dance move before.

I'm guessing her iPod's needed to be charged, and therefore died, because she threw it down on the floor and cursed.

Then she noticed that everyone was staring at her.

"Uhm... hi?" She laughed nervously, her eyes wide.

Korea was on her in a second, his hands firmly on her breasts as he sat lightly on her hips.

"That was…**_sexy_**, Da~ze." he gave a squeeze while pressing his hips down on her own.

My eyes burn…

What's worse is the fact that she starting pushing her hips into his as well, so technically, they were grinding against each other.

In Masu's words, had this been another couple, her remark would've been, _"Humpin' each other like two horny bunnies. Lovely."_

Masu panted as she grabbed the front of of Yong-Soo Im's hanbok and jerked him forward, bringing the two into a sloppy, wet, hot kiss.

"Why…?" I asked looking up at the gods while Korea and Masu kept up there grinding and sloppy kisses. I stood from my spot and walked up stairs, I could still hear them, _still_.

"Why couldn't they do this in the bathroom?" I muttered darkly to myself.

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><p>Kage-chan: Seriously...Why Masu why? . I should have had Korea take you to the bathroom then <em>I<em> wouldn't have too _see_ that...

Masu: It's your fault for bringing him in. -sticks nose in air- You should know by now that if I find a male with a personality similar to mine, I will probably end up banging them.

Kage-chan: -mutters words in japanese- _Anyways_, please review, we enjoy knowing if our story is good or not. You could also ask questions on anything in the story.


	5. Germany

Kage: My apologies for the lack of update however, I hope this makes up for it a little. Masu and I are currently in contact and perhaps updating will be a somewhat regular occurrence. Then again, I'm now in my senior year of high school so I need to pay attention to my grades but I will try to update at least once a month, that's okay right? That's manageable. So please be patient with me.

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><p>Germany<p>

The past few days weren't that bad, Masu apologized for how she acted with Yong-Soo the first day he arrived - causing my cheeks to heat up in embarrassment from the memory but I had waved it off and said she didn't have to apologize.

Though it didn't help that Yong-Soo was strange and randomly popped up behind me at times and groped my chest before chirping, "Your breasts belong to me Da~Ze!"

But after the fiftieth time of doing so did Masu finally reacted and threatened to stab him if he didn't stop which made him back off for a decent amount of time.

After some persuasion from Masu I had finally convinced her to allow me to get a job, which isn't too hard.

I now work at that little bookstore slash café, I mostly go around and fix books in their correct places. Nothing too drastic. And its easy for me to hide when someone enters so it's a plus.

Alfred works at the McDonalds that we had gone to to get his large order and he's happy enough to work there, which ironically, got him a higher pay-raise because no matter what he was chipper as could be.

Masu said it was because he was a robot and it was in his programming so it was obviously cheating, but I was glad enough that some of the stress was off Masu's shoulders. Now all we had to do was find somewhere for Yong-Soo to work.

Though, of course on the day we were off - seeing as it was now the weekend and luckily we had the weekends off - we hear a knock on the door which made Masu raise a brow, before she snarled like an actual animal and ran to it - she must have known there was another unit for delivery.

"No time for chat now, Mr. Espachito. What do you want?"

Mr. Espachito snorted indignantly, twirling on the ends of his handlebar mustache with gloved fingers. "This gigantic package is here for you!" he said haughtily, seemingly displeased with Masu.

I am left very confused and walk over a bit warily.

"Another package?" I ask. "And is something the matter?" I add, noting Mr. Espachito's attitude towards Masu, I hold out my hand for the manual that always came with it but was surprised when there was no manual for this one.

"Of course!" Mr. Espachito said. "There is something wrong! But not with this heathen woman. No. My wife said she wants a divorce."

Masu raised a brow. "Your _wife_ is a jackass."

"I will not have you speak of my woman in that manner! I still love her!"

"No, literally, she's a DONKEY -"

"I'm tired of your lip, you heathen disgrace to mustache society!" Mr. Espachito exclaims. "Sign here," he says, thrusting a clipboard at Masu, which she quickly signs and hands back to him.

Mr. Espachito shoves in a HUGE box and then storms off, stroking his mustache and grumbling darkly to himself.

"Why does he dislike you so much?" I can't help as to question before nervously hovering around the crate.

"Maybe it's because of my smooth upper lip," ponders Masu thoughtfully.

The crate.

What if it was Russia? Or some other nation that would be _very _angry if awaken wrongly.

"It's so weird, this one doesn't have a manual!" I say, surprised and near panicked.

"What if it's France? Oh God Masu I don't want to be _raped_!" I cry, beginning to tremble despite knowing that the French character wouldn't dare lay a finger on a person against their will however I was too far gone to think logically. I stare at my hands in surprise. "Did I take my pills today?" I ask, looking over to Masu as my legs give way and I fall to my knees.

"Hey, hey," Masu says, pulling me up and into a hug. "It's all good. You took your meds today and so did I. Relax. We'll just kick the box and leave it, or make a sauerkraut hot dog or some shit." She strokes my hair idly.

Before going all Masu again and patting my butt lightly.

Though I agree to what she said and left to make breakfast which was different from the past days of pancakes, mostly sausages with some hash browns, eggs and bacon.

I even put on that frilly apron Masu got me, the one she ordered specially saying, "Please don't kiss the cook or he'll have a panic attack and faint."

It was funny I had to admit, and different so of course I liked it.

I wince at the large dull crash that came from Masu pushing the crate over.

"You okay Masu!?" I couldn't help but call as the smell of sausage filled the house.

"Um, yup! Just kicked a lil' too hard! Hey, I'll make the sauerkraut~" Masu sang, waltzing into the kitchen and pulling out green cabbage, cultured vegetable starter, lemon, and a large glass of water.

I sweat dropped.

"Just sayin' the last time I almost set the house on fire while making sauerkraut - that was an accident. And the sauerkraut still turned out damn fine," she clarified, chopping the cabbage.

I nod, turning off the sausages before placing them on a plate with napkins to mob up any oil residue.

"I'll go check on the -"

Before I could finish I heard a loud crash like as though something broke through the crate.

"Seems our mystery unit broke out of his crate," I deadpan.

"Mmm-hmm," says Masu uncaringly, her tongue poking out from in between her full lips as she concentrated on chopping the vegetables, her white tank top showing off her cleavage and black bra, also riding up and showing her hipbones, while her pajama shorts were showing off the bottoms of her buttcheeks.

I really hope the unit isn't a perverted one like France, because sometimes Masu is so unknowingly sexual sometimes that it's not funny.

Shaking my head I hesitantly go out to check only to become relieved when it was only Germany, which meant Masu was safe from any molestation.

Though really it's ironic that the one without a manual is Germany seeing as he lived by rules almost religiously.

"So... there are other units besides Korea and America?!" Masu yelled, seeming flabbergasted.

"Ah, hai! Many, Canada, America, England, China, Russia, Japan, North and South Italy, Spain, the Baltic trio which is Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia, the Nordic trio which is Sweden, Iceland, Denmark, Norway and Finland, then there's Prussia who is now a micro nation actually and France. Let me think…" I mutter thinking of any I had forgotten. "There are the other micro nations as well but I currently cannot remember each of their names. But wait, you said units, I'm listing off the characters in the series. And that could be hundreds seeing as they are based off nations as I had told you before." I explain to my best capability, the Germany unit seemingly confused.

"Sooooooooooooooo... which one did we get?" Masu asked, walking out of the kitchen.

Her eyes landed on Germany, and she blankly scanned him for about five minutes, leaving Germany and I in awkward silence for that period of time.

Slowly, surely, realization crossed her face, and her eyes brightened from chocolate-colored to an almost golden, wheat-colored shade.

Masu stared at Germany for a few long moments before stating blatantly, "You're fucking hot."

Germany seemed taken aback by her bluntness and flushed darkly, eyes ducking as one of his hands raise to cover the lower half of his face.

"He's really shy, especially around girls." I say, head tilting and - if I were to admit - a bit amused.

"Mm-_hmm_," Masu hummed thoughtfully, her golden gaze scoping him carefully and paying special detail to his... um... area.

Masu leaned over to me and whispered, "I really hope he's single, 'cause I would climb that like a tree."

"He is, the characters on Hetalia aren't in relationships, though there is a hint that he would be with an Italian Unit, North Italy. Though Germany is shocked by such a thing seeing as he isn't good with relationships or the thought of someone finding him attractive." I tell her quietly, amused. "Though they aren't in a relationship, its more like he's trying to understand his friends feelings because North Italy had given him a bouquet of roses, which in Germany, is a token of revealing they are in love with the person they give them too. The fangirls who ship North Italy and Germany together couldn't stop fangirling when that Valentines day episode came out."

"Sooooo..." Masu drawled, "if I fucked him, it would be morally acceptable? Or, I wouldn't have some crazy mofo chasin' after me?"

"We'll keep that on the down low." I joke quietly. "Besides, its not like your going to scream it out for the whole world to know. And I think a few of the crazier girls would want a Germany of their own. Seeing as he's popular." I say, looking to the German before blinking as I realize he was no longer in front of us. Backtracking to the kitchen I noticed him in there with a pink apron on - another one of mine, only it had multiple frills along the edges and I couldn't help noting that he still looked manly even with it on - currently cooking the rest of today's breakfast. "Did I forget to mention that he enjoys cooking, baking and he's pretty OCD so he'll clean until everything shines after?" I finish, looking to Masu.

She made an inhuman sound, her eyes flicking all over the tall German.

"I must have him for myself!" she suddenly declared, startling me. Noticing Germany had looked over at her in an almost stern fashion, she lowered her voice to privately tell me, "He's my dream man! Hot, he'll do everything for me, and I'm pretty sure he'll have a massive di-"

"Masu!" I gave her a disgusted look, a little more than flustered but at the same time used to these types of things from her.

"And best of all, he's not South Korea!" Masu finishes excitedly.

"I am offended, da~ze!" Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

South Korea approached, forcing on a pout with Alfred on tow, playing a game station.

"I'm going to go see if Germany needs any help." I say, walking off before Masu could reject.

I heard Masu whine, mostly because one, I left her alone with Yong Soo, and two, I'm with Germany and she isn't.

"I will not be outdone by a young boy!" I heard Masu shout.

I snort quietly, though pausing a few steps into the kitchen, slightly surprised to see plates of food already on the table and the German currently scrubbing down our stove and counters. "Hey, breakfast is done!" I call instead. A whoop sounding from the living room before Alfred entered, gaining a sullen glance from Germany, the American only gives a wave, saying; "Hi German dude, nice apron." as he passes as though wanting to tic the other taller male off. Germany's sullen looks darkens and he turns back to the stove, anger making him scrub hard enough that the stove shook slightly with his movement.

"Alfred, that wasn't nice," I scold, though wincing slightly. "You should apologize or I'm taking away your McDonalds unlimited gift card."

Alfred huffs, but mutters a muffled apology as he stuffs his face.

Masu stares at Germany with stars in her eyes. Finally, she slinks silently to his side, startling him when she says in a half-seductive, half-creepy voice, "So, you're doin' dishes, huh?" She punctuates the sentence with a quick wink.

She is really not the subtle type, so I have no idea why I'm even mildly surprised by her actions.

"Ja…?" Germany said, glancing down at Masu as he continued to scrub at the cup in his hand, making sure the glass sparkled. Though he seemed perturbed by Masu's tone.

I wanted to crack up, but that would be harsh so instead I took a seat besides Alfred, serving myself some from the plates on the table.

Masu is a naturally loud person, so when she lowered her voice, my careful hearing could still hear her quite clearly. "So if I jumped in that sink, would you do me, too?"

I drank from my cup, muffling the snort that exited me.

"I'm doing the dishes, however, you are obviously not a piece of glass and or silverware." The German says calmly, though a dark red flush crosses his face, obviously surprised and embarrassed.

Masu seemed baffled. For the next few long moments, she just stood there, staring ahead with an equally flabbergasted and contemplative look on her face. Finally she gave Germany's butt a longing pat and concluded, "It's okay to be gay. I fully understand." Masu stopped. "Although, just to clarify, I'd have let you put it in my butt, too."

Germany seemed momentarily stunned, pausing in washing and turning off the sink as he grabs a rag to dry his hands. "I am not gay, however I may be asexual or bisexual. You may hope it is bisexual however." He glances to Masu's hand that had been patting his bottom and blushes lightly as he looks away, embarrassed by Masu's behavior.

I couldn't help my utter of, "Burn" as Alfred choked, turning blue in the face and I had to pound on his back until finally he coughed up whatever he was eating, face turning back to a healthy shade of pink.

Masu whistled lowly, though I could tell she was embarrassed by her eyes darting around everywhere and her cheeks darkening to a shade of magenta. "FINE. FINE, FINE, FINE!" she yelled, tossing her arms up in the air. "I will stick! With regular, butt-ugly, mother-fucking men!" She angrily stomped off, but stopped midway to her room. "And by the way, I will NEVER eat your cooking! It's tainted with essence of ASSHOLE!"

Ludwig looked beyond confused and a little embarrassed. "Had I said something wrong?" He mutters to himself gaining my sympathy because to be truthful the German was taking everything to a literal, he knew nothing about flirting.

"I'll go talk to her, though, if it helps. She's trying to show her attraction to you with pick-up lines." I say, standing from my seat.

"…Pick-up lines…?" Ludwig says, watching me go.

"Er, modern peoples way of trying to show their fancy for one another by trying to be witty or flirtatious." I explain as quick as I can as I run off.

The story line of Hetalia was made during world war one and world war two, I'm not sure if there's any modern days involved but I somewhat doubt that. Then again the whole show is on crack so I don't believe it would matter either way.

"Masu?" I say quietly as I catch up with the slightly older girl. "He doesn't get flirting or any of that stuff. He was taking everything to a literal sense. Remember what I said about being easily embarrassed when someone makes it known that they're attracted to him? Well, he's a little oblivious or doesn't realize you're even trying to be flirty. So you're pick-up lines? He didn't connect the dots at all. You need to full on say you're attracted to him for him to understand or give him a bouquet of roses." the last part was said half-jokingly.

Masu looked up from the garden of mushrooms she had somehow grown into the floor. "Yes, Kiyo, that is excellent! Brilliant plan, because I didn't make it clear enough when I said, "You're fucking hot!""

Masu put on a Grumpy Cat face and turned around, beginning to make new mushrooms grow on the other side of her.

I sighed. "Masu, he's from the nineteen forties, I don't believe they had 'You're hot.' as one of their admissions to finding someone else attractive. You pretty much have to; one: Wait for him to ask for a courtship. Or two: go to him saying that you find him attractive." I go quiet for a moment, eyeing the mushrooms. "Also, is it safe to be growing mushrooms in the house?"

Masu whimpered, looking back at me with big eyes and anime tears streaming down her face. "What, now you're saying you don't even love my mushrooms?" She stands, revealing the fact that she is now only wearing a long sweater and knee high socks. "But, nevertheless, you're right. I should be a bit more forward. However, I think I'll wait and act natural. To see if Germany might end up liking me first. As you well know, Kiyo, I am the graceful master of interpreting emotions."

She took one step and tripped over her line of mushrooms.

Her eyes were short, un-amused lines as she said, "Maybe growing mushrooms inside isn't the safest thing in the world."

"No, it isn't." I agree, looking at the little mushrooms on the floor. "And I'll help, if you want, try to get Germany to get used to you and even develop feelings."

"Yes!" she said, shooting up with her arm in the air. "Take me to him! Actually, I'll probably just hang out with Alfred and stick him in front of me when Yong Soo comes around but... take me to him!"

"Alright, I'll do what I can." I say. "Now, lets go get breakfast, alright? It won't do you any good if you're hungry."


End file.
